Blind enough to see - Roots

 

There is such an emphasis on the way people look these days. Apart from the despair brought on by the impossible ideals we set for the observed, there is the deprivation caused to the observer who has lost the ability to see the person, being untrained or uninterested to get past how the person looks. It is easy to be dissatisfied with a common appearance or overwhelmed with a dashing one, and in forty or so years the two will probably be quite similar.

           The point here is not to fly the old "Looks don't count," banner, an excessive reaction that none would really believe; it's to say that beyond appearances there is something far more valuable.

 

Society is turning women into visual objects, they are taught that their value is determined to a large extent by their appearance.

And men's eyes are being trained to help themselves.

           There are some women, and men too, who enjoy the sense of command they feel by causing waves of ogling and envy, and will decorate and present themselves so as to enhance that; but some realise that it is the shallowest of compliments if a compliment at all, and no reflection on who they really are.

           

To be desired is a rush for the ego, but it is a poor and worthless substitute for being cherished and valued.

 

One could liken it to a coat of hammered gold—it's one of those things you want until you have it, then you realise it is heavy, cold and restrictive. It doesn't increase what anyone sees in you, all they stare at is the gold not caring who the wearer is. And this particular coat has a nasty trick in store—in a few years it begins to show its age and one patch job follows another until despair can no longer be staved off. What a terrible pressure to live under.

 

It's not just women who suffer from this obsession with impossible visual perfection. Men and women alike are given standards to reach that most are simply genetically barred from. Many must have stood before the mirror shaking their heads and wondering how they could be found acceptable, and running in the back of their minds is a slide show of the unattainable ideals that are continuously glittering around them.

 

When vision leads judgement we mistake the appearance for the person, and miss the person altogether. But a husband who esteems his wife for the person she is, rather than what she looks like, can see her grow in beauty, recognising her worth and treasuring her the most when she is silvered and full of years.   

 

The irony is that sometimes the excessive dependence on our eyes can prevent us from seeing (even ourselves) well.